“I can’t stop thinking about my ex!” You’ve said that how many times in the past week? It’s so hard, isn’t it? Trying to get over someone that you love so deeply isn’t easy. How are you supposed to just turn off those feelings as if they don’t exist? You can’t. You loved your partner for a long time and now that the break up is behind you, you’re still longing to be with them again. You think about the way they used to smile at you, the way their voice sounded and how they’d look at you. Now all of that is gone and you have a vacancy within your heart that is impossible to fill. Are you destined to be stuck in this horrible emotional place forever or is there a light at the end of the tunnel?
The emotions that accompany a break up are important and trying to quiet them takes time, effort and patience. Before you can make a concerted effort to stop thinking about your ex you have to decide whether that’s truly what you want to do. If you still love them and believe that a future with them is a possibility, trying to get over them may not be the right path to take.
Regardless of whether you believe you two are meant to be, you do have to rid yourself of the negative feelings associated with the break up. That means you have to begin the process of forgiveness. You have to forgive your ex for whatever drove you two to break up and also you have to forgive them if they were the one who dumped you. Even if the break up came out of the blue and you were blindsided by it, the negativity that you’ve been carrying around because of that is something you must let go.
Dealing With Your Emotions After the Break Up
I also suggest you try and take a mini-vacation from the emotions you are currently feeling. It’s hard to just push aside such strong emotions but it becomes much easier if you shift your focus to something else. In this case you need to immerse yourself in something new. Starting a new relationship obviously isn’t the right move to make if you still love your ex, but rekindling old friendships is. If you have friends you’ve lost touch with, reach out to them. Get together and catch up on what is going on in their lives and share what you’ve been up to.
Volunteering is another fantastic way to get your focus away from the break up. If you help others you’re going to soon realize that your troubles pale in comparison to what many people have to struggle with on an ongoing daily basis. This is also a wonderful way to start appreciating yourself more. You’ll feel proud of yourself for doing good in the world.
You likely already know about the benefits of doing no contact in relation to your ex. By cutting them out of your life for a time you’re giving both of you a much needed emotional break from the drama. This often brings clarity and a renewed purpose to make the relationship work. Give your ex a fair chance to experience their life completely on their own while you do the same. Absence can really help a couple understand what matters most and often that’s one another.
Understanding how to specifically appeal to the psychological triggers within your ex that will make them crave to be with you again is a definite advantage if you’re determined to get them back. You can read more about how to find those triggers and the best way to get your ex to come back to you here.